Sunday, November 13, 2005

I'm back from Student Leadership Experience Camp! Seriously, bellaying (spelling?) was the most daring thing I've ever done in my life so far. Went up a four meter pole and traversed the cargo net, balancing logs and a bit of rock climbing. Pity I missed the absailing and the "pamper pole" as Mr Ram put it. After all that, I'd thought to I'd have muscle pains all over, strangely I didn't. But I did get muscle pains from lugging my bag around from Bukit Timah to Jurong West for more than an hour. Bleah.

Camp wasn't as fun as I expected it to be. I tried to be engaging, well I did that on the first day, but quickly lost my energy on the second day. On leadership, it wasn't really that per se. I felt that they tried to teach us the meaning of the abstract concepts of trust, leadership, conceptualisation and foresight too hard. The whole thing turned almost academic, and went to prosaic classroom stuff from then on. Still, the Night Walk led me to ponder about a lot of things.

It was exhausting physically and mentally for me. I found out or rather confirmed a few things about myself. I didn't really feel at home with the Millennian "culture". I can't change myself to fit the environment, despite all that's been. I guess I only have myself to blame for flunking up my 'O' Levels. I never really left my "three months" behind. Always, everyone and me always say "Going back to Innova" although I really can't do so anyway.

My 18th birthday is coming soon. a time of maturity so-called. But am I ready to move on and leave past mistakes behind? Or will I cling to that ring, never trusting anybody to catch me when I take that inexorable plunge?

Sometimes, a song just imprints itself onto a memory. During the Night Walk, I listened to this song by The Goo Goo Dolls. It's called "Better Days."

Avarice[10:35 PM]

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